Update and mess

I keep saying I will stay up with this blog and I never do because I get discouraged or something happens. What with recent changes and my depression taking over for a while it has been hard to keep up with anything. As always the only thing I can do is try. In the last few months I have lost my Grandmother and my nephew. My Grandmother had raised me until the age of 9. My nephew had not been born yet. My sister, Victoria, had found out that there was no heartbeat when she went in for bleeding. She was at 6 months and they had to induce labor. Turns out it was a cord accident which is disturbingly common. This is her third loss through pregnancy. This had happened 12 days after the loss of our grandmother so overall a terrible experience. Then my depression, which is a constant battle, gained control because I did not know how to deal with my Grandmother's passing. I failed two classes as a result. Thankfully I am now on track again. Retaking the classes and working on my degree for Interior Design. Made the necessary changes in friendships because that situation showed me who my true friends were. My husband and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary on July 25 and my daughter will hopefully be starting school this year. Overall my blessings are abundant and depression is at bay right now.

Evaluation

Currently in my life I have no job or car. I am not contributing financially at all to my family situation and this makes me feel horrible. I feel like I have failed my daughter and husband on a daily basis. You do know what I do though? I raise my daughter. SK is 3 years old and she can do the following:

1. Use the potty
2. Knows her alphabet and can identify any of the letters.
3. Count to 15 everyday and sometimes 20
4. Count to 6 in Spanish
5. She knows her colors
6. She can eat with a fork and spoon and an open lid cup
7. She knows most nursery rhymes and can recite them
8. Her enunciation is amazing for a 3 year old
9. She has manners
10. She respects adults

Nowadays this is saying something for someone her age. We are currently working on writing and reading. She is quick and smart. My daughter is ahead of the two four year olds I watch. I keep my house clean and occasionally make dinner when I can but food is always available and my daughter is well fed. She is healthy as well. Now sometimes I may sit here and lament the fact that I have not finished my education or be upset because I believe I am not worth much but all things considered I am a damn good mom. And that is and will always be my most proud status to claim.

Update on Life

Okay so within in the past few months I have made an awesome new friend and she is the reason I have not been on here. We go out with my daughter and her son to get them to experience so many new things. Just recently I have started to seriously exercise by doing the C25K program. Which means couch to a 5k. Little Bug is doing great. Getting big but also very mouthy. I guess that is the lovely 3s. Come this fall it will be time for her to start going to school which I really need to sign her up for. But overall life is good even if our car just got repoed. Bad luck happens you know. Right now just enjoying life one day at a time.

Starting on Resolutions

Starting to do research into opening an Interior Design Business.

New Year Resolutions

Just now getting my resoulutions organized since I am just now able to chill out. This year I am determined to do a few things to better my life.

1. Get a job by the end of Febuary at the latest
2. Sign back up for school once I have steady income
3. Get my license.
4. Be more consistent
5. Either through school or other means, pursue my passion of Interior Design
6. Get comfortable with my body, either by accepting myself now or getting to the weight I desire.


Life is rolling on and I am getting older. I need to get everything together because I am not responsible for just myself and seeing as that I will be 25 this year it is about time I start growing up.

Back on Track, Right in time for Holidays

Okay so I am back on track with exercising today and still maintaing my diet which is going to be hard in about 12 days. I know most people who are on diets are going to try to eat sparse on Thanksgiving but I am telling you right now that is not going to be me. I am going to stuff my face and enjoy and deal with the consequences later, to me Holidays are meant to be enjoyed with family and that means eating tons of food with them on Thanksgiving. The day after Thanksgiving I will decorate for Christmas and I am trying my hardest to wait! Bug is excited of course because she knows she will be a big help for decorating the tree.  I just love the feel the Holidays give as well because it feels as though no matter what, everything will be okay. And looking at that face in the picture, how can it not be believed that happiness will prevail.

Back on Track tomorrow

With the exercising and school because after I pinched the muscle in my arm I got sick. Have been sick since. Now I just have a really sore throat and I can exercise through that. I have been keeping up with the healthier eating and I think that is because I am craving healthier things lately. I don't why. My main thoughts lately are how I am going to make 2013 my year to succeed. I want to be able to financially aid my family by having a job but even during seasonal hours I still can't get one. I need to figure something I can do from home because I have no idea when I will be allowed to drive if ever because of my vision. The daycare thing has dwindled seriously and it is even hard to find work with that. So after Thanksgiving and before I have to rush for Christmas I need to seriously sit down and figure out what I am going to do.