Wednesday, March 26, 2014


You were so tiny
A being of infinite possibilities
A breath on the brink
Now you are forever
An eternal life
My heart breaks
Though I did not know you long
You are still my beloved
Now with God, wait for me
I will spend eternity with you when this life is done

You entered this world for less than a few minutes
You imprinted upon my heart instantly
My dear daughter I will love you forever
and hope to know you when I meet you again
Until then, sit with God and be the angel I know you to be.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


I lost a child yesterday, March 24. I was 16.3 weeks pregnant. My body went wrong and I could no longer support my baby. She was born alive and lived for about 10 minutes. I have no idea how to handle this. No idea at all. How does one handle loosing a child? Within the next few days I will have to explain to my daughter that I don't have a baby in my tummy anymore and that the baby is with God and won't be coming home. It didn't really hit us until we were told we had to name her, bury her, get a death certificate. It shoves it in your face and you have to deal with those things while mourning. I can't write more because I am too emotional.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Advice needed.

As you know I am a stay at home mom and given the hours I have to work around my husband's schedule I can not work outside the house. Does anyone have any idea what I can do from home? I am currently working on my college degree for Interior Design but that has a few more years left. I do not have any other proven skills. I know I am great at office work and organization but do not have the 'work experience'. I am crafty but starting out I can not buy many supplies to start anything.

Really any advice is appreciated.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Spring is coming!

Fall and Winter are my favorite months because I get really ill as soon as the temperature gets above 70. But we have had a harsh winter and I have been holed up with two toddler girls for most of it. I am looking forward to getting them outside so I can exhaust them. It would be great if I could just exhaust my daughter and let my niece do her thing if she wants. I am looking forward to Easter this year. I am a holiday fanatic which my husband dreads but it makes life more vibrant. I look forward to the church events, the personal egg hunts I do, the many crafts. The breath of fresh life that Easter brings to everything in the world. Spring is the new beginning. Proving that all hard things must come to an end and better things are yet to come. I can not contain my joy, my love. I feel full in news ways. I hope this Spring can bring continued joy and that my daughter can enjoy it just as much as I do.