Happy Halloween!!

Little Bug got this outfit from her Aunt Vicky, her costume pictures will come later. Hope you all have fun!!

Day 3 on hold

Today was supposed to be day 3 for the 30 day shred but I pinched a nerve in my arm and can not get it out of a 90 degree angle which is important for the excercises. So hopefully this will heal up soon so I can have my arm back. I never realized how much I use this arm for things till I can't use it, especially shaving.

30 Day Shred Day 2

Day 2: Decided to do this when I got out of bed and before I showered and ate. I think I am going to stick to that because I feel more determined in the morning instead of when I am going to bed. I am working more on my eating habits today but again it will have to be tweaked for tomorrow because I slept in today and am eating brunch instead of breakfast. What I need to do is get up earlier and get the excercise out of the way before Sarah gets up. I will work that kink out tomorrow morning by setting an alarm.  Already on the second day I know that this is doing good for me because my muscles are sore from being used but not in a painful way. I feel much better from doing it as well so keeping up with sister is also keeping me motivated.  She is keeping up with the two times a day which props for her but I don't see myself doing that anytime soon. Well anyways my breakfast is smelling delicious so cya.

Started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred

Summary: I decided to do this because my sister started it yesterday so she could feel good in her marine corp ball gown. Now in no way is she fat, she is quite gorgeous. I am doing this with her as a way to prove to myself that I can and also so we each have a partner to kick our butts when we think about stopping. Mind you her diet plan is a lot stricter than mine as I plan to stuck to 3 meals of decent food and my snacks will at times include gummy bears. So I will record on here my progress.


Day 1: Level 1: watched my food intake and trust me it was so hard to cut down on snacks. Started Level 1 today, had to definitely take a shower after as you will sweat. My starting weight and current size will be in the pictures. Wish me luck!

Sitting

I'm sitting here waiting for my husband to get home so I can go have a night out with a friend. It's been awhile since I've been out so I'm hoping it'll be fun. I always get anxious when I go out without my daughter and I'm wondering when that'll stop. Funny things being a parent makes you feel. You get anxious over things you know you shouldn't. Feel guilty when you want a break so much you could cry but as soon as you get that break you want to run back home. Makes no sense.

Reflection

Yesterday was a very bad day for me emotionally. I do not know why but every little thing that is bothering me from the past few months just came crashing down on me and I could not handle it very well. Honestly I think I'm falling back into depression because the signs are there. Right now the way I am handling it is trying my best to seperate myself from my family for a few minutes so I do not lash out at them. It is not working very well since we live in an apartment and I can't drive so seperation is hard to achieve. Today I am sitting here trying to sort through all my thoughts and my feelings during different situations.  It will take way more than today but I hope I get a start now.

Red dress

Okay so you are not yet aware of my absolute love of Jenny Lawson and her continual strength to overcome odds. A recent post of hers popped out at me about her red dress campaign. Which made me start thinking about the red dress I own that I never wear because I hate my body and try not to acknowledge it. The dress is form fitting and a bit plunging. After her post though I think I need to step back and look at what is good about my body and how to get what I want out of it. Self reflection is a terrible yet wonderful thing sometimes. I also need to complete a homework assignment today...fun stuff...boy do I hate doing the relating to other students in discussion questions things.